Greensboro, NC -- One of the most common behaviors to us all is lying. From half truths to what's called the little white lie to the big lie. We've either done it or caught someone in it.
Body Language and Lie Detection Expert Blanca Cobb says we have to rely on observing behavior changes. Fortunately or unfortunately, people's noses don't grow when they lie!
"We have to rely on observing behavior changes as in body language signs, listening to voice and tone changes and rates of speech and analyzing people's words."
To determine if there are indeed changes, you need to know a person's baseline. "The baseline is their normal behavior. Some things to consider when determining someone's baseline: How do they carry themselves? What's their posture? How do they answer positive and negative questions? Is their eye contact consistent? Are they fast talkers or slow talkers."
For example, if someone normally answers questions with a question then suddenly don't then this is considered a "hot spot." Or, if someone has a pretty fidgety baseline then become quite still when you bring up a certain subject then this is considered a "hot spot."
It may not mean they're lying, they could just be nervous or uncomfortable. So we can sort of re-test them and see. "Re-introduce the topic to see if the person gives off similar hot spots. The final step is to ask clarifying questions to see if there's more to their story."
Blanca says, body language lets us know that something is off, but doesn't tell us why. People to anchor their lies in some truth so that they'll remember their lies. However, people's words will reveal more information.
Men, Women & Lying
@BlancaCobb says, women tend to lie to protect their partner's feelings or avoid confrontation whereas men tend to lie to enhance their self-image or to cover up something. Knowing the differences in lies men and women tell will help partners understand their mates better.
Women's lies: "I bought it on sale" as she throws away the receipt. (Avoid confrontation)
"Nothing's wrong" as she rolls her eyes, turns aways and continues her busy work. (Protect partner's feelings and avoid confrontation)
Men's lies: "Sure, I love kids." Yet, he only wants to go out with you when your ex has your children. (cover up that they don't particularly like kids).
"I'll get around to fixing the faucet" as he leaves to go to the golf course. This is a 'stalling lie' to avoid the nagging or constant reminders to get something done. (Save face about knowing how to fix a faucet).>
And these days many people are looking for love online.
What do men and women lie about in the online dating world?
"Although both men and women lie in the online dating world, men tend to lie more about their height, age, income and women tend to lie more about their weight and physique."