Nobody asked me, but ...

9:39 AM, Apr 2, 2013   |    comments
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Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - You see so many people posting mock drafts you just have to laugh.

One would swear, after looking at some of them, that they were put together by fat guys in their underwear eating barbecue potato chips in their mom's basement.

How someone could eat barbecue chips, not sour cream and onion, while putting together a mock draft is beyond me. Come on, guys. We deserve better.

All right, enough frivolity, let's get to it.

1. Jacksonville Jaguars (trade with Kansas City) - I really like Alex Smith and he's now a Chief. That means coach Andy Reid could bluff, saying he's going to take West Virginia's Geno Smith, and trade down and still get the guy Kansas City really needs. And get some extra picks. The Jags take Smith after trading up.

2. Kansas City Chiefs - KC snags Texas A&M's Luke Joeckel here and the Chiefs have their left tackle for the next 10 years.

3. Oakland Raiders - The Raiders need to become the Raiders again because they've simply been bad for a decade. To do that, they need to get nasty on defense. The pick: Florida defensive tackle Sharrif Floyd.

4. Philadelphia Eagles - The Birds wanted Smith, but get beaten to the punch. New coach Chip Kelly sees one of his own, defensive end Dion Jordan from Oregon, on the board and grabs him.

5. Detroit Lions - Detroit stays close to home and takes Central Michigan offensive tackle Eric Fisher to shore up its line.

6. Cleveland Browns - The Browns already have a really good cornerback in Joe Haden. Now they'll have two by selecting Alabama's Dee Milliner.

7. Arizona Cardinals - They need help in a lot of places, but a big need is on the offensive line and Oklahoma's Lane Johnson can't be passed up.

8. Buffalo Bills - They will try to trade down, but won't find a dance partner. Because of that, they'll reach for Syracuse quarterback Ryan Nassib, causing Mel Kiper to jump out of his chair. New coach Doug Marrone, who left Syracuse, knows all about Nassib.

9. New York Jets - With everything going on in the Jets' secondary, they need help. Florida State's Xavier Rhodes will try to provide it.

10. Tennessee Titans - An offensive guard this high? Yes, Alabama's Chance Warmack.

11. San Diego Chargers - If the Titans can grab a guard at 10, the Chargers can do the same at 11. North Carolina's Jonathan Cooper.

12. Miami Dolphins - The Dolphins can't believe Utah defensive tackle Star Lotulelei is still available. He no longer is.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - They could use a slot receiver like West Virginia's Tavon Austin, but BYU's Ziggy Ansah, a raw defensive end, has to be the pick.

14. Carolina Panthers - The Panthers want to get bigger up front. Missouri's Sheldon Richardson, a D-tackle, is the choice.

15. New Orleans Saints - A guy named Barkevious Mingo (LSU, defensive end) should play in New Orleans.

16. St. Louis Rams - They need receiver help and Austin provides it.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers - The Steelers replace Mike Wallace with Tennessee's Cordarrelle Patterson.

18. Dallas Cowboys - University of Texas safety Kenny Vaccaro falls to the 'Boys.

19. New York Giants - It comes down to two Georgia linebackers, the free- falling Jarvis Jones or Alec Ogletree. Ogletree is the choice.

20. Chicago Bears - The Bears are forever trying to shore up their O-line. Maybe Alabama's D.J. Fluker can help out.

21. Cincinnati Bengals - The Queen City welcomes Florida safety Matt Elam.

22. St. Louis Rams - They wanted Elam here, but lost him. Florida State defensive end Bjoern Werner is a nice consolation prize.

23. Minnesota Vikings - With Percy Harvin gone to Seattle, the Vikes snare Cal receiver Keenan Allen.

24. Indianapolis Colts - It's about protecting Andrew Luck in Indy. Welcome Florida State offensive tackle Menelik Watson.

25. Minnesota Vikings - It was offense two picks ago, defense now. North Carolina's defensive tackle Sylvester Williams is the guy.

26. Green Bay Packers - Why not give Aaron Rodgers another weapon. Notre Dame tight end Tyler Eifert is a stud.

27. Houston Texans - Tight ends go back-to-back as Stanford's Zach Ertz is taken.

28. Denver Broncos - Denver is getting a little long in the tooth in the secondary. Come help us, Desmond Trufant (University of Washington).

29. New England Patriots - The most interesting project in the draft, SMU defensive end Margus Hunt, goes to the Pats. He's 6-foot-8 and from Estonia. Raw, but Bill Belicheck will find a way to make it work.

30. Atlanta Falcons - Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o finally comes off the board.

31. San Francisco 49ers - A good defense gets better: Florida State's Cornellius Carradine, a defensive end.

32. Baltimore Ravens - They'll gladly grab Mississippi State cornerback Johnthan Banks as they try to restock after losing a ton of veterans.

We'll update this mock in a few weeks as we get closer to the real thing (April 25-27). Until then, I'll make sure I clean up my potato chip crumbs.

Drew Markol has been a sports writer and columnist for several Philadelphia- area newspapers for over 25 years.

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